These Sweet Humbling Heights
by Sequinsminusthegloves
Summary: This is how they met. Before the big story. Before Briarcliff. Before everything crumbled.
1. Chapter 1

Fandom: American Horror Story: Asylum  
Pairing : Lana & Wendy  
Disclaimer: I don't own American Horror Story or any of the characters. I just want Wendy and Lana to have a little bit of happiness.

Thank you for all the kind reviews so far. I'm planning on continuing this story, so don't worry..there's more coming! Hope you enjoy it, as I am rather new to fanfiction. :)

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It was Lana's last year of college. She couldn't believe that after all this time she still felt like she was unprepared for the real world. Lana was smart and had always performed well in her courses. Her intelligence level was not the issue. But it also wasn't that she was afraid of feeling alone out in the working world. She had plenty of friends. In fact, admittedly, she was so easy to get along with that she constantly turning down offers to go to the drive-in because chances were that she was either busy writing a new article for the school paper, studying, or already hanging out at the local diner with one of the girls from her journalism classes. So, she didn't know what it was, but she felt incomplete. She chalked it up to the jitters.

With her suitcases in hand, she marched her way up the stairs of the old dormitory. She spent the summer living with her grandparents, just as she did every summer since she graduated high school. Her parents had decided that it would be best if she didn't live with them anymore. Lana had been caught doing something her parents disapproved of. She was only 13 at the time and she had hardly known that her actions could have been disastrous. But ever since the moment her mother walked in on her planting a tiny kiss on her best friend Susan's lips, her parents had both made it very clear that the moment she took hold of her diploma was the moment she was no longer welcome in their household. Never again, had she kissed Susan, or anyone else for that matter. Sometimes she thought it should upset her, that they didn't speak to her, but after five years of the emotional detachment her parents exhibited towards, her she just couldn't be bothered to miss them.

As she neared her floor she began to wonder about her new roommate. Oddly, she hadn't wondered much about her new roommate before this moment. She was busy all summer, working as a secretary in the city and trying to publish some freelance works in a local newspaper. She didn't have time to worry about what her new roommate would be like. But now that she was just a few doors away from her room she began to get nervous. The journalism majors were a small group this year, which had forced some girls from other areas to come fill in the empty spaces. Lana knew that she was with one of these new girls, but she had no idea who it was or what they studied. _We'll get along just fine_. She told herself. But even though Lana could make a great conversation with almost anyone she met she couldn't help but feel her stomach tie into knots.

When she reached the door with the brass marker "32A" she set her suitcases on the floor. She ran her index finger over the brass numbers and down the door to a small plaque that read "Winters." Further down the door another plaque read "Peyser". Taking a deep breath, she turned the knob and pushed the door open.

As the door slowly swung open she took in the sight of the room. The walls were bare, still awaiting the personalized touches her and her roommate would likely hang up in the days before classes began. An empty set of beds, one stacked on top of the other. A desk pushed up against the wall with a window in front of it, which she guessed had a great view of the courtyard below. But then she saw something she had not expected. A young woman stood facing a mirror. With just a towel wrapped around her chest, the woman drew her hands through her slick wet hair. Lana stared, stuck in space, her muscles constricting and preventing her from any sort of movement. The woman's bare shoulders were pale and freckled. In the mirror Lana could see her sloping chest and where it abruptly disappeared under the fabric of the towel. From where she was standing, she could not see the woman's face, but she did hear the scream when the woman must have noticed Lana at the doorway.


	2. Chapter 2

The still screaming woman turned around clutching the towel to her chest. She stood there staring at Lana, whose mouth was gaping open and whose hands were splayed at her sides, as if she were trying to show the woman that she came unarmed. She stopped screaming and for a split second there was complete silence. Lana awkwardly turned around and dragged her suitcases into the room before sticking her head back out into the hall and shouting, "We're fine! Everything's fine!" And slammed the door behind her.

"Turn around!" The half-dressed woman ordered.

Lana immediately spun towards the door, glad to have an opportunity to hide her face. _How mortifying_, she thought. First impressions between her and her roommate could not have gone any worse. Although, as her back was turned, all she think about were those pale shoulders and the way the woman's skin puckered where it met the binding towel.

"Okay" said the woman, snapping Lana out of her daydream. You can turn back around."

Lana, still embarrassed by the whole ordeal, turned around, eyes towards the floor. Her cheeks were hot with humiliation but she could still feel the flush deepen as she took in the sight of the now clothed woman. Lana slowly drew her eyes upwards. The brunette was wearing a blue dress with an orange belt wrapped around her waist. As she lifted her gaze up even higher, she saw the woman's face. She had a jutting jawline and a button nose. The freckles from her shoulders continued across her face, dotting every solid inch. And her eyes were a color that seemed altogether new to Lana. She'd seen brown eyes before, but these were different. They seemed to have a golden shimmer about them. Lana, realizing the silence, shifted her eyes momentarily to pursing lips and when she let her gaze fall back upon the glowing eyes she found the willpower to snap herself out of her stupor.

"I'm so sorry. The name's Lana. Lana Winters." She said with a little wave of her hand, " I'm your new roommate. I didn't mean to come in so unexpectedly. I wasn't sure you'd be around and I most certainly did not intend to walk in on you while you were indisposed."

The woman had hardly moved, hardly shifted her eye-line, and it made Lana uncomfortable. She wasn't used to people looking at her that way. She bit her lip, instinctively in attempt to stave off the bashfulness, which interestingly, elicited a smirk from her new roommate. Lana was surprised, and a little upset that her embarrassment was something that the woman found enjoyable. But before she could revert into the confines of her mind and dwell on that thought, the woman finally spoke.

"Wendy." She said, sticking her hand out for Lana to shake. "You just took me by surprise, that's all."

"I should have knocked." Lana said, digging the toe of her shoe into the carpet.

"Do you want the top bunk or the bottom bunk? I'll take whichever you don't want. I'm not picky."

"Oh, I'm kind of afraid of heights, so I'll take the bottom bunk." Lana said, quietly.

As a smile spread across her face, Wendy quickly climbed up to the top bunk. "I was hoping you would say that. Well, not the part about you being scared of heights…but I did secretly want the top bunk." Wendy crossed her legs and leaned over the railing. Lana went to grab her suitcases and lugged them up onto her new bed. Her head hidden from Wendy as she opened the latches on the suitcases, she let a sly smile surface. She knew almost nothing about Wendy, but she seemed nice enough, despite their awkward meeting. There was something about her that made Lana feel comfortable.

Wendy looked on as Lana put everything away in the closet. It didn't take her long to notice how careful Lana was about making everything neat and tidy. She refolded several blouses when part of the fold came undone and made sure to hang up all of her skirts so that they wouldn't crease. Wendy was much more lax when it came to organization. She had practically dumped all of her clothes from her own suitcases directly into her drawers without much care.

Breaking the silence Wendy asked, "So you're a journalism major? Sorry you got stuck with me this year. You were probably expecting to room with a friend, huh?"

"I knew the journalism group was big this year so I wasn't really set on living with someone I knew. I don't mind though. It'll be fun to have someone to talk to who isn't in journalism."

"That's assuming we get along." Wendy said, playfully.

Through much stifling of her laughter Lana asked, "So what is your major anyhow?"

"Education. I want to be an elementary school teacher."

Lana cringed. "You _want_ to spend your time around kids? Don't get me wrong, I find it admirable, but I couldn't imagine dealing with all the temper tantrums or the chaos of it all."

"I think it's worth it. Besides, doesn't journalism require some last minute chaos in order to get out the story first?"

"Fair enough." Lana laughed.

The two women spent an hour or so putting their room together. They hung pictures and brainstormed ideas for wall decorations that they could buy. Then they made their beds with the bedding supplied by the school. When they ran out of things to do they decided to head down to the diner just off campus. Wendy had never been to the diner before so Lana insisted that they get dinner and a milkshake. Most of Lana's friends hung out there so she thought it might be a good opportunity to introduce her new roommate to some people she knew.

But when they got there the diner was almost empty. Which ended up being for the best, Lana thought. Her and Wendy talked about where they grew up, it turned out that Wendy only lived a two hour drive away from her Grandparent's home. They talked about their favorite films; Lana said her favorite was _Singin in the Rain_ while Wendy argued that _Rear Window_ was an excellent movie if you loved horror, which Lana did not. Time flew by and before they knew it a waitress came to their table to politely inform them that the diner would be closing soon. Nodding to each other in understanding, they paid and scurried out of the diner and back to the dormitory.

When they got back to the dorm Wendy grabbed her things and headed to the restrooms to get ready for bed. Once she came back, Lana took her turn in the bathroom. She brushed her teeth and combed her hair but rolled her eyes at herself when she realized that she had completely forgotten her bedclothes. She made her way back to the room where Wendy seemed to have already fallen asleep. The lights were off but a sliver of light came in between the window curtains. She quietly put her things away and removed her pajamas from the dresser.

Wendy didn't really find it rude that she neglected to tell Lana that she was still awake. But she did feel a little guilty for watching her get dressed for bed. She watched as Lana slipped a nightshirt over her shoulders and buttoned it up around her slender frame and she watched while Lana slid off the skirt that she had been wearing that day. Lana Winters was nice. Lana Winters was pretty. Lana Winters was her roommate and they were going to see a lot of each other this year. When she heard Lana crawl into bed she let her eyes close and slipped into a deep slumber.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as the sun started peaking over the horizon the next morning, Lana was awake. She tried to fall back to sleep, it was still early, she was still tired, but it was no use. From the bunk above her she could hear the quiet inhales and exhales of her new roommate. She, on the other hand was clearly having no problems sleeping. Lana brushed the covers away from her body and crawled out of the bottom bunk. She went to the top drawer of her dresser and removed a book that was tucked away underneath a blouse. If Wendy was still tired, she would let her rest, and when she got up they would discuss their plans for the day. Hopping back into bed Lana opened the flimsy copy of "The Secret Garden". She'd read it so many times now that it was nearly falling apart. Addmittedly, she was embarrassed about how much she loved the book. It was a book for children, her Grandfather had told her. He is a kind man, but often has trouble picking his battles. It didn't bother her too much though, she loved the story too much to care a great deal. But today she could not focus on the words on the pages as much as she tried. All she could hear was Wendy breathing. Despite how quiet each breath was, Lana could not get herself to ignore it. So, she changed her plans. She would get ready and go to the convenience store to pick up some supplies for classes.

She walked quickly to the store, grabbed the essentials: paper, pencils, pens, etc. and then headed to the diner that her and Wendy had eaten at the night before. Lana figured that Wendy would likely still be sleeping if she headed back so soon. Besides, Wendy would probably be hungry once she finally woke up, and it would be a nice gesture for Lana to pick up something for the two of them to eat.

Down the hall, a door slammed startling Wendy awake. She rubbed her fingers over her eyelids, pushing away the remainders of sleep. When her eyes adjusted to the sun, now shining brightly into the room she heaved her upper body over the side of the bed and peaked into the bottom bunk, but Lana wasn't there. She sat back up and just as she did she started hearing noises right outside the door. Assuming it was Lana she sat at the end of the bed and waited for her to open the door. She saw the doorknob turn, and start to open.

"Hi!" She said, louder than necessary.

Lana looked momentarily terrified and let out a short shriek, dropping her belongings to the ground. Wendy clasped her hands over her mouth, astonished at Lana's reaction, and feeling pangs of guilt for being the one to cause it.

"I am so sorry." She said through her hands.

Lana, laughing, picked up the fallen items. "It's alright, assuming you don't mind squished pastries for breakfast."

"Oh, no! I've ruined breakfast?" Wendy said as Lana reached into the bag and pulled out a flattened croissant for Wendy. Wendy took the croissant in her own hand and took a bite. "Well they still taste delicious. Thanks, Lana."

Lana sat down at her desk and ate her croissant while Wendy stayed in the top bunk occasionally brushing crumbs off of her blankets and onto the floor. "What are your plans for tonight, Lana?"

"I'm not sure, why?"

"Well, some of my friends and I were planning on going down to the drive in to see a film. We're taking two cars, and I know we've got room for an extra person. Would you want to come along?"

Lana, wanting to take the opportunity to get to know Wendy's friends, agreed. Until then, her and Wendy would go their separate ways, Lana finding her own friends, and Wendy doing her own supply shopping.

When they pulled into the drive-in later that night Lana was nervous. She had introduced herself to the girls in the car but mostly listened to the conversations that easily took place around her. They secured a spot close to the screen, but not close enough to cause stiff necks and strained eyes. The other car in their caravan parked next to them leaving enough space in between that they could comfortably spread out blankets between the cars and all sit together. Lana, still unsure about Wendy's friends, introduced herself to the rest of the women as best she could, but tried to stay by Wendy. She felt a bit outnumbered and felt more anxiety about being accepted than she normally did when meeting new people. She made friends easily, but tonight she felt awkward, as if she were trying too hard.

"So, you're a journalism major Lana?" One of Wendy's friends asked. She'd suddenly forgotten her name. Did it start with a B? Or was it a T?

"Yeah, educating the masses!" She said with a smile. But after a beat her smile faded and she realized her mistake. These women were studying to become teachers. They, more than her, were learning to educate the masses. She noticed several odd looks in her direction but tried her best to brush them off. Luckily, the film reel sputtered to life and everyone grew silent, in anticipation for the movie.

"How mortifying." Lana whispered to Wendy as an animated hot dog danced across the screen. "Your friends are definitely going to hate me now."

"Don't worry. They'll come around." Wendy said, reaching over and giving Lana's hand a firm squeeze. A warm rush made its way through Lana's body, and a bashful smile lept to her face. She looked at Wendy, who was also smiling and for a split second, their eyes met. But the movie started, and both women turned their attention elsewhere.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning Lana can barely pull herself out of bed. It's 8:30 in the morning and she has to leave in 45 minutes. She throws her heavy legs over the side of the bed and slides her slippers on. Wendy's gone, probably already on her way to class. Lana begrudgingly gets ready for the day. She can never truly decide whether she enjoys the curricular side of college, but she always enjoys the first day of classes. So by the time she's walked to the school café and consumed an entire large cup of black coffee she is awake and cheerful.

Her first block of classes are successful, she finds the rooms, she's there on time, and she has at least one friend in each class. When she walks into the cafeteria to grab lunch before she heads to another lecture, she spots Wendy and a couple of the girls who were at the drive in. Wendy waves her over. But unwilling to rehash last night's awkward conversations so soon Lana smiles and points to her watch. She gives a shrug and mouths, "sorry" before she turns to grab a sandwich, pay, and get out as quickly as she can.

At the table, Wendy watches Lana hurry off. A bit disappointed, she picks at the pasta on her tray. "Wendy, you don't have to invite her to sit with us just because she's your roommate." Tracy says with a condescending inflection.

"What?" Wendy asks, shaking herself out of her daydreaming disappointment but not out of confusion at the statement.

"She's kind of weird." Tracy replied.

It takes a moment for Wendy to comprehend that her friends actually do not like her new roommate. They might not know each other from front to back yet, but Wendy hadn't thought Lana was weird. She was nice, thoughtful, and generally upbeat. "I like her." Wendy said curtly, hoping to end the discussion. To further indicate that she didn't want to talk about it, Wendy picked up her fork and shoved a mouthful of pasta between her lips. Tracy rolled her eyes, and a few of the other girls laughed but they didn't push the subject. They quickly changed the subject to boys, and topic of conversation that Wendy could have done without. She had never understood the need to talk about men: how attractive they were, the cute things they said to get girls attention, or how cool their car was. She always added just enough to the conversation to let her friends know that she was listening, even when she wasn't.

Today one of the boys they were watching noticed them. He sat at a table by the window with his apparently less attractive friend, whom Wendy hadn't noticed. His blonde hair was slicked back and he wore a white button down shirt under and oversized suit jacket. With a flick of his wrist he popped open a lighter and took a long drag from a cigarette. Seeing this, Susan elbowed Tracy in the shoulder and they both turned their attention towards him, giggling. They were loud enough to attract his attention. He looked over at the table, but he looked right past Susan and Tracy and his eyes met Wendy's. By the time he reached the table Wendy had worked herself into a panic. She was not expecting this and she felt suddenly nervous. People did not just randomly introduce themselves to her, but today was obviously an exception. He grabbed the empty chair next to her, spinning it around and throwing his leg over it so that he sat on it backwards. Wendy tried her best not to roll her eyes. _How smooth_, she thought, but still, she decided to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"The name's James. And what kind of name might a pretty lady like you have?"

"Wendy" she replied quietly.

"Well, hey Wendy. Do you want to get out of here? I can feel you friends eyes all over us. What would you say to a walk around the courtyard?"

Surprising herself, she said yes and the two of them left the cafeteria. When they reached the door to Wendy's dorm they bypassed it, looping slowly around the courtyard two more times before finally parting ways. James was the kind of guy wendy had always pictured herself with. He was handsome, but he was also very sweet. On the surface he looked like one of those fast boys who didn't take no for an answer and often found themselves in trouble. However, he was quite the opposite. He explained how in the cafeteria she had caught his attention immediately, and that, if not for the persistence of his friend, he probably wouldn't have come to ask her on a walk. Normally Wendy might have thought he was playing around, to make himself seem more shy and vulnerable. But he stuttered a few times and seemed generally nervous, she it wasn't hard to believe his story. She learned that he was at school studying business and that he was originally from the west coast. It was a long way from home but he didn't have a family life worth sticking around for so he'd moved away as far as he could without running into the ocean.

Once they reached the steps of Wendy's dorm her put his hand on the railing, almost as if for suppert. "So, would you maybe want to go to the drive-in on Friday?" he asked.

"I think I'd like that." Wendy replied. He was so nervous, an endearing trait, and Wendy wanted to get to know him better. He smiled, and made an awkward reach for her face, planting a kiss on her cheek

"I'll see you around." He said before turning and walking down the courtyard.

Instinctively Wendy rubbed the kiss off her cheek. It was sweet, and she was looking forward to Friday.

Wendy was hoping to find Lana in the room when she got back, but when the door swung open she saw that there was no one inside. She settled at the desk and opened up a textbook, but she couldn't stay focused. After a brief nap followed by a dance session to a couple of records Wendy gathered her stuff and headed back out to campus for a meeting.

By the time both Wendy and Lana were back at the dorm they were too tired to do much talking. They crawled into their respective beds, wished each other a quick goodnight and turned out the lights.

Lana walked into her biology class and pulled up a seat in the very back. Usually Lana was a "front of the class" kind of student, but she hated biology. She didn't even know she had to take it until a phone call from her academic advisor had informed her that they'd forgotten to get her enrolled in a general science class. It made no sense to her, taking biology, as a journalism student. She tapped her pen violently on the surface of her desk. She noticed a brown-haired girl in front of her put her hands subtly over her ears. Suddenly remorseful Lana apologized.

"Lana?" the girl questioned as she turned in her chair.

Lana realized that the girl she had annoyed was Wendy. Figuring that they wouldn't have an classes together, neither of them had really talked about what they were taking this semester. Lana apologized again, voicing her annoyance at biology. Wendy gathered her things and moved to a seat next to Lana just as the professor began lecture.

It turned out to be a lot better than Lana had expected. Then again, she was almost certain that Wendy's presence helped immensely in that department. When she was bored she looked over at Wendy's notes which were neat and organized, but which also had tiny drawings scribbled all over them. Not the usually doodles, though. Lana was used to drawing a few simple flowers or maybe a pattern. But Wendy sketched faces with incredible detail, and ease. When she caught Lana staring at her sketches she gave a sly smile and turned the page in her notebook.

"Take notes for me" she whispered, pointing at Lana's pad of paper. Lana was slightly confused, but obliged and drew here eyes away from Wendy's sketching.

Wendy took a good look at Lana, who was clearly struggling to keep her eyes forward, and began to draw her face in profile. She drew the slope of her forehead, and nose. She drew the soft protruding lips, which curved, into a toothy smile. Now Lana was smiling that same smile, still trying to look forward, but taking quick glances at the sketch from time to time. When the bell chimed and everyone began to file out Wendy ripped the piece of paper from her notepad and quickly scrawled her name and the date into the very lower right hand corner.

"Do you have a lunch break now?" she asked Lana, attempting to bypass any praise or criticism from the gifted drawing.

"I do." Lana replied. She slid the drawing into the middle of her notepad to keep it from being bent. Her face was warm. She wanted to thank Wendy, but she was already steps ahead of her, on her way out the door.

They bought lunch and sat on the edge of the fountain in the courtyard. The sun was bright and warm, a perfect day to sit outside. Lana fed the sparrows pieces of her sandwich while Wendy told her about meeting James in the cafeteria. It bothered Lana, and she wasn't completely sure why. James seemed nice enough, but the idea of him hitting on Wendy irritated her. Wendy was happy about it though, so she shrugged it off. She didn't need to be protective over her new roommate. James was probably a really nice guy. She needed to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Wendy noticed Lana's discomfort but didn't ask her about it. Seeing James was not a big deal She could tell that she was smiling when she talked about him, but it almost felt like she was smiling because she needed too, not because James made her that happy. They hardly knew each other. Maybe that's why Lana looked uncomfortable.


	5. Chapter 5

Wendy had been talking about James for a solid 10 minutes. He was handsome, he did nice things, he took her to nice places. Lana felt sick to her stomach. She wanted to feel happy for Wendy but this was getting obnoxious.

"I've never really liked anyone that way before." Lana interjected, hoping to at least kind of change the conversation.

Taking the interruption with stride Wendy replied, "I hadn't either, before I met James. This is all so new to me. He asked me to go steady with him, you know."

"What did you say?" Lana asked, expecting a yes, but hoping for a no.

"I said yes of course! It was so sweet of him. He bought me lilies and a charm bracelet with a single heart. I couldn't say no."

Lana rolled her eyes and stood up. "You don't like him Wendy."

"What are you talking about?" Wendy snapped, a confused look spreading across her face. "Of course I like him. I wouldn't have said yes if I didn't. Besides, you hear how much I talk about him, I'm sorry about that, but I just can't stop thinking about him."

"Oh yeah, I've noticed that. But I still don't think you like him as much as you think you do. You talk about him constantly but it's never about how you makes you feel. He's 'charming' and he's 'such a sweetheart' but I've never heard you tell me that he makes your heart jump. Does his voice make your heart jump? Does his hand against yours paint your cheeks crimson? Do you lay awake at night thinking about how you wish you could have spent just five more minutes talking to him?" Lana, suddenly furious, grabbed her purse and walked out of the dorm.

Wendy sat staring at the door for quite some time. She couldn't believe Lana had just done that. Lana had no idea how she felt about James. She liked him enough. Enough. Wendy felt a pang at her heart, but it wasn't for James. It might have been guilt, sadness, anger, love, but she was sure it had nothing to do with James.

When Lana returned to their dorm it was late. She could tell that the light to their room was off, and she quietly opened the door. Wendy was asleep. Lana got ready for bed as fast as she could, without exerting too much energy. She had been walking around campus all day trying to clear her mind. On her walk she had realized, almost immediately that she was not at all mad at Wendy. Even though she had yelled at Wendy, and stomped out the door, there was nothing to be mad at Wendy about. She has her own life, with which she can live the way she wants to. But somehow, she was still mad. By the time she returned the anger had turned to a sort of ambiguous wanting feeling related to, or mixed with loneliness. She couldn't tell.

She slipped out of her dress and into her nightgown and burrowed beneath the covers of her bottom bunk. Even though all her muscles ached with fatigue and even though her eyes burned with the need for sleep, she couldn't manage to calm her mind and get some rest. She tried counting sheep. She tried imagining a tranquil landscape. She even tried flat out whispering to herself, "Please fall asleep. Please fall asleep." But nothing worked. Finally, she settled on listening to Wendy's breathing. It was slow and calm. Lana paced her own inhales and exhales with Wendy's hoping that it would help her sleep.

After a couple of minutes Lana notices that she's short of breath. The long slow inhales and exhales are now short and choppy. She can tell that Wendy is breathing heavily now, almost wheezing.

"Wendy?" She whispers. Nothing. "Wendy" A little louder. She still doesn't receive a response, but now Wendy is breathing even harder. Lana jumps from her bed and stands on her tiptoes, trying to see into Wendy's bunk, but she's just a bit too short. She thinks about stepping on her mattress and hanging on the side but the bed doesn't feel sturdy enough to be pulling on it in one direction. She wants to wake Wendy up, but she doesn't want to do it by unhinging the top bunk. So instead, she climbs up the stairs and into Wendy's bunk. She takes it slowly, unhappy about her ascent. She wasn't comfortable with the idea of sleeping alone in the top bunk, and now there are two bodies suspended in air. She shifts her hips back and forth to test how sturdy the bed is. It doesn't shake, and she wishes that she _had_ just stood on her mattress. At least it would have been closer to the ground.

Kneeling net to Wendy's hips she reached forward and pushed gently on Wendy's shoulder. "Wendy" she said again. Tiny wisps of hair were stuck against Wendy's damp cheek. Lana tried again, this time pushing harder on her shoulder, and saying her name more forcefully.

"Wendy!" Lana said.

With her eyes still closed, Wendy whispers, "No. Go away!" But her breathing seems to calm. Lana brushes some of the hair from Wendy's face and Wendy slowly opens her eyes. "Lana? What are you doing?"

"I think you were having a bad dream."

A brief moment of concentration and pain cross Wendy's face but when it passes she assures Lana that she was, in fact, having a very bad dream and asks her to stay up with her.

"Up here…in the bunk?" Lana questions.

"Yeah" Wendy tries to hold back her concern. Completely forgetting that Lana is afraid of height she worries that she's asked something strange of Lana. But Lana does stay and lays down next to Wendy. Shoulder to shoulder they talk about movies and their favorite books until they fall asleep.


	6. Chapter 6

When Lana opens her eyes, she does not see the ceiling. She sees her hand resting on Wendy's chest. The tips of her fingers dip under the other women's nightgown. Gently, she removes her hand and sits up. Only then, as Wendy's hand slides down her back, does she realize that Wendy's arm had been wrapped around her. This was not normal roommate behavior. She knew that much. Never before had she slept in the same bed as her roommate, and she could safely say that even if any of her and her past roommates had slept together they surely would not have woken up in an embrace.

Sleeping deeply, as usual, Wendy hardly stirred as Lana climbed down from the top bunk. She rushed to get ready for class and headed out the door without waking the sleeping woman. She walked quickly to class, focusing intensely on each step. The more she focused on the pace of her gate and the placement of her feet, the less she thought about Wendy. But by the time she was halfway to her journalism class her attention to her footwork had changed to a whispered mantra, "Don't think about Wendy." which of course only led to her thinking about Wendy. In her journalism lecture she thought about the soft freckled skin that she'd woken up touching. She couldn't remember if she had woken up with her legs entwined in Wendy's but she thought about it anyway. Recalling each little detail of Wendy's face sent spikes of adrenaline coursing through her veins. It was an altogether new feeling. One that she had surely never encountered because of a man. She thought about the way that Wendy had held her hand at the drive-in. The imagined sound of her laughter filled Lana's thoughts. Before she knew it she was smiling and doodling hearts instead of taking notes. With one hand propping up her whirring head she hardly noticed when the bell had rung. The only thing that snapped her out of it was a nudge on the shoulder.

"Ooh, Lana's got a crush." She recognized her friend Mary's voice. "Who's the boy?"

Trying to hide the flow of blood to her cheeks Lana denied the accusation. "It's just a doodle Mary. Class was hideously boring today."

"Geez, Lana. I was only kidding." Marry scoffed and left the room.

Lana looked the paper. Hearts in various sizes, some shaded, some plain. She tore the page from her notepad and crumpled it in her fist. She gathered her things and threw the wad of paper in the trash bin as she left.

James greets Wendy when she leaves the dormitory, right on schedule to walk her to class. He reaches for her hand and when Wendy interlaces her fingers with his she senses a shift. It feels wrong. But James kisses her on the cheek, distracting her from her hands, and they walk together to the building where Wendy has biology with Lana.

When Lana hears Wendy call her name, her muscles tense. She can picture two possibly scenarios when she turns around. In one of them she turns to see Wendy smiling, having completely forgotten about the fact that they'd slept in the same bed. The other Wendy was angry. She remembered and she was disgusted that Lana had agreed to sleep next to her. However, when she turned around, a third scenario greeted her, one that didn't answer whether or not Wendy remembered.

"Hello James." She sighed, smiling to cover her tone of disappointment. Wendy was wearing a knee length red dress and bright red lips, curved into a smile, to match. She held onto James' hand with both of her own and leaned against his shoulder. Lana could feel the jealousy swelling inside her and was thankful when James excused himself and headed off to his own class.

But when Wendy sat down, the raving over James, that she had endured for several days now, was absent.

"Do you have a tissue? I hate this stupid lipstick. James says it makes me look swell, but I can't stand it. I look ridiculous."

"I think it looks nice, but here." Lana replied, pulling a handkerchief from the bodice of her dress. She watched as Wendy dabbed the red off her lips, turning them pink.

Over the next few weeks the two women continued to ignore the night they had shared together. Although innocent in nature it forced Lana to confront a feeling she had felt since the very moment she accidentally walked in on Wendy after arriving at the dormitory. She dealt with Wendy relaying her dates with James. And she tolerated watching them kiss in front of her. It wasn't enjoyable but she grew used to the routine. But on one particular night Wendy came back to the dorm, sans her usual smile after a date with James. She walked in the door and sat on the edge of Lana's bed where Lana was studying from her French book. Wendy took a deep breath and placed the palm of her hand over Lana's knee. She briefly smiled at Lana before letting out a soft laugh and climbing up to her bunk. Feeling the moment rather cryptic of Wendy, Lana got out of bed and pulled herself up to Wendy's bunk.

"What was that all about?" Lana asked

The same smile returned to Wendy's face. "I'm just glad I have you as my roommate, Lana."

Lana waited a beat before asking, "Wendy, have you been drinking?"

"I've had a couple of drinks." Now Lana could smell the alcohol on her breath. "Wendy, did something happen between you and James tonight?"

"Lana! What do you take me for? I've been perfectly virtuous, scout's honor." Wendy raised her hand, index finger and middle finger extended. "To tell the awful truth, I was bored. He's boring, Lana. Thankfully we were with a couple of his friends, so a few glasses of wine drowned him out quite nicely." Wendy patted the spot next to her on her bed, inviting Lana to sit there.

"Wendy you know I'm afraid of heights."

"That didn't stop you a few weeks ago!" Wendy blurted out and again Lana felt her cheeks turn red. Wendy had, in fact, remembered Lana crawling into her bed to comfort her. She wasn't sure until this moment, and they had never talked about it before. But Wendy clearly wasn't upset by it, given her request.

Lana looked at the floor, "But that was the middle of the night and you were having a bad dream. I just wanted to wake you up." Wendy rolled her eyes and motioned Lana to come closer. Lana took a deep breath and climbed the ladder to the top bunk. She wasn't sure why Wendy wanted her so badly to sit in bed with her, but Wendy was drunk, and clearly in a good mood, so she accepted it. The two of them talked for several hours, telling stories and confessing embarrassing moments. Lana told Wendy about the time in high school that she'd laughed so hard her gum flew out of her mouth and landed on the table, just as her friend set down her heavy calculus book. Wendy shared that James was a terrible kisser despite what she had said in the past.

"I'd show you myself if it weren't so disgusting." Wendy laughed. The mere mention of Wendy kissing her made Lana fall silent as her heart fluttered. The silence was palpable. Lana struggled to find something to say, to break the silence but the more she struggled the more she felt it was useless. She couldn't say anything. There was nothing to say except for a rush of confessions to spill from her lips. She wanted to tell Wendy how she felt, that jokes aside, she dreamed about kissing Wendy. She wanted to tell her about how she woke up that morning with her fingertips dipping under the other woman's nightgown and how for every morning since she wanted that to be the same way she'd awakened. Yet none of that was anything she could tell Wendy. Wendy enjoyed her company as a roommate and a friend, nothing more. But then Wendy did something that made Lana question that "fact". Wendy smiled again, like the smile she gave Lana when she placed her hand on her knee. This time Wendy placed her palm gently on Lana's cheek. "You are beautiful, Lana." She whispered. "Sometimes I'm not sure that you know it, but you're going to make someone very happy one day."

Her heart sank at the mention that someone else, aside from Wendy, might be made happy at her hand. She looked down and blinked back tears that she could feel forming. She heard Wendy let out a short hum and felt the hand pull away from her face.

"Well, I need to get everything sorted before I head to bed!" Wendy said in what Lana took to be a mock happiness, although she didn't understand why Wendy could possibly be anything but happy. She crawled past Lana and climbed down the stairs.

As Wendy opened the door, Lana, who was still sitting in the top bunk caught her roommate's attention. "Thank you, Wendy." She said softly.

Wendy gave a quick nod and left for the showers.


	7. Chapter 7

Wendy was at a party with James and a whole slew of his friends. It was someone's birthday but she wasn't sure who's. The first half of the party James had been preoccupied with his friends, which was alright with Wendy. It gave her time to casually walk around the house with her glass of red wine and meet some new people. She talked to a few girls who had gone to high school with James, and who clearly had worshipped him. Later she talked to a quiet boy who she recognized from biology lecture. But after about an hour she made her way to the kitchen and sat at one of the bar stools, nursing the same glass of wine. Within moments, James was grabbing her hand and pulling her into one of the bedrooms. She followed him along the hallway. She no longer enjoyed James' company, but tolerated it. She thought a lot about breaking up with him but she didn't know what to say. It felt awful, stringing him along the way she did but she kept James around because he made her feel safe. Safe from what, she didn't want to admit. Now in the bedroom, James approached her with a glint in his eyes that Wendy had not seen before.

"No. Stop, I'm not like that." She said, pushing James away from her. She meant that she wasn't the type of girl who was going to get physical with someone, but as soon as she said it she realized it was mostly a lie. She didn't want to do anything with him, touch him, kiss him, or anything else. But there was someone she might do those things with, it just wasn't him.

"But Wendy, I thought things were going well between us."

Wendy sat up and straightened her shirt. She told him as kindly as she could that she was not in love with him and that she didn't want to see him anymore. She assured him that she was serious and that she would not be changing her mind in the morning, despite his protesting that she would.

"You'll come crawling back to me, sweetheart. You know deep down that you love me." He pushed her against the wall, not violently, but forcefully enough that Wendy wanted nothing more than to get out. He tried to kiss her and she jerked her head to the side hitting her brow on the sharp edge on the wall-mounted shelf next to her.

"Wendy!" James tried to bring his hands to her face to examine the wound but she dodged out of the way and ran out of the room. She could feel a trickle of blood running down her temple. She dabbed it away with a handkerchief and walked home.

Lana was comfortably tucked into bed with a new novel when she heard a quiet knock at the door. Through the peep-hole in the door she saw Wendy with her head down and her face obscured.

"Um, Wendy you know it's your room too. You don't have to knock unless I put a ribbon on the door." She laughed at her own joke as she unlocked and opened the door. Her needing to put a ribbon on the door when Wendy was the one in a relationship.

When the door opened Wendy looked up at Lana, a glint of desperation in her eyes. There was a small cut on her face just above her brow and she looked as if she had been crying.

"Wendy are you alright?" Lana gasped.

Without responding, Wendy cupped Lana's face in her hands and looked deep into Lana's brown eyes.

"Wendy?" Lana asked again.

"I was just being clumsy. I promise." She whispered through a kind smile and removed her hands from Lana's face. The action had probably made Lana even more worried about her. The two of them were close, but maybe not quite that close.

Lana nodded slowly. Even if Wendy was lying, she clearly did not want to talk about it right now. She kept her eyes on Wendy, trying to figure out if the other woman was in fact okay, or was just pretending. Although her eyes were slightly puffy and the cut on her forehead was starting to bruise, she looked calm and content.

"Wait there." Lana said, pointing to the chair at her desk. "I'm going to get something to bandage that cut."

Lana left Wendy sitting in the dim room. The only light came from small reading lamp across the room near Lana's bed. Lana's desk was cluttered with piles of paper, open notebooks, text books and various writing utensils. But the top left corner of the desk was tidy. There sat a small vase with a few flowers that were just starting to wilt and a small wooden box. She picked up the box and lifted the lid. Inside she saw a piece of paper neatly folded into a square as well as an old key and a photo. The photo was a family portrait of a young Lana with whom she assumed to be her parents. It must have been taken before she was thrown out of her parent's home. The key was labeled, "home". Wendy didn't know if that was her parent's home or her grandparent's home but either way, it surely meant that it was a key to a place that Lana loved. She picked up the neatly folded piece of paper and unfolded it carefully, but quickly, anticipating Lana's return to the room any moment. When Wendy realized what the paper was she gasped, more surprised than she should be, to find the drawing of Lana that she had made during class so long ago. She felt the knots in her stomach tighten when she heard Lana at the door and she folded the paper back up and put it away in the box.

Her roommate walked in carrying a small bottle of rubbing alcohol, and some cotton balls. "It'll hurt." She told Wendy as she prepared the cotton ball with a few dabs of the alcohol. When Wendy winced at the astringent, Lana apologized even though there wasn't anything she could have done to make it hurt less. "I would have brought a band-aid but I wasn't sure how I'd be able to put it on, so we'll just have to make sure we clean the cut again tomorrow morning." Lana turned to throw the cotton ball in the garbage and noticed that the lid to her wooden box was open.

"You went into my box." Lana said as more of a statement than a question. She threw the cotton ball away.

"I hope you're not mad." Wendy replied, rubbing the back of her neck in embarrassment. She shouldn't have opened the box in the first place and she absolutely should have remembered to close it.

"It's fine." Lana's face was red, and she did her best to avoid looking Wendy in the eyes. Wendy could tell she was nervous and it couldn't have been about the family photo or the key. Both of those things were normal keepsakes but Wendy hadn't known how much the sketch had meant to Lana. With a sudden burst of confidence, Wendy stood up and kissed Lana. It was awkward and brief and when she pulled away, the silence in the room made Wendy want to bolt. If she hurried she could probably make it out of the room before Lana thought of anything to yell at her. But before she could, Lana grabbed her waist and pulled her into a deep kiss.

Wendy was taken aback by how comfortable Lana felt taking the lead. She moved them towards the bunks and pushed Wendy into the bed. It was as if Lana had been so sure of how she felt about Wendy. Each movement felt genuine and passionate. Wendy wondered if Lana had imagined this moment before because it was as though it had been rehearsed, it felt so natural, so right. But Wendy also felt vulnerable. For a very long time, this was something she'd desired, but hadn't admitted to herself and now that it was happening, she felt bare. With James she felt a certain level of safety. Their relationship had been acceptable, enviable even. Things were different with Lana. She made her feel safe too, but in an entirely different way. She felt truly loved, and she loved in return. But there were obstacles the two of them would have to overcome, things they'd have to hide. However, tonight was not the night to worry about those things. Wendy pulled Lana even closer and a wandering hand slipped under Lana's blouse. Tonight was just about the two of them.


End file.
